Posts tagged ‘joke’

Reasons To Stop Smoking … Paul Knew Them All

By Dave Tishendorf

Paul was aware of all the conventional reasons to stop smoking.

I mean, how could you not be, even in the late 1970s, when he and I first met in a midsized city in southern Oregon. By that time, science had already established the dangers of smoking, and information on how to quit cigarettes was everywhere.

I was a working journalist back then, and Paul (not his real name) drove cab. We quickly became good friends. Over the years, Paul and his partner, Sarah, and my then-partner, now-wife, Mary, and I spent a lot of good times together.

The explanation for this writer/cabbie pairing can be found in the folds of community theater. If you have ever been a member of an amateur theater group in a small town, you know what I mean. Cultural lines are blurred there, if not eliminated altogether. Lifelong friendships are formed.

And sometimes love affairs bloom while the seeds of divorce are sown, and marriages are made or broken.

Paul, in fact, had been married and divorced four times when I met him. In a way that I can’t fully explain, it was part of his charm. He would joke in his low-key way about each of his three grown daughters, and in time we in the group came to use the nicknames he had for each of them, names that had a certain fondness attached to them, even though they can’t be repeated here (they had to do with how the girls were conceived).

It’s not that Paul kept the names a secret from his daughters – that would have required a duplicity he was not capable of. The daughters knew full well what those nicknames were, and they were able to laugh with him. How could you ever become angry with Paul? It was almost impossible.

But if Paul was a loser in the game of love, he was brilliant onstage. This son of a Protestant minister had a lean figure, a deep voice, an aquiline nose and a profile to die for. He could not be called handsome in the Hollywood sense, but when he walked onstage, the effect was striking.

Onstage he was able to draw on the power of whatever demons and angels were residing in his soul. He acted from the inside out.

Paul and I were in several shows together. He was always the star, whether he had a leading role (Henry Drummond in “Inherit the Wind”) or a minor one (Leo Herman, aka Chuckles the Chipmunk, in “A Thousand Clowns”).

Had circumstances been different, had not one of his devils controlled and ultimately destroyed him, he might have been a professional.

As it was, he simply succeeded in being the most gentle person I have ever known.

I think, if Paul had stated his philosophy of life, it would have gone something like this:

“I will judge no one or no one thing. I will accept the flow of life as it comes and not try to change any of it. I will let it take me where it will, neither accepting nor rejecting it. Nothing is good or bad, it simply is. I am merely a passenger, and I will enjoy the ride.”

Cigarettes entered Paul’s life because he allowed them in, probably with no questions asked. How many decades did he end his day with a cigarette, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly? How many times did he light up first thing in the morning almost before his feet touched the floor? I don’t know.

Yes, he knew all the reasons to stop smoking. He knew all about the information on how to quit cigarettes. He had seen the statistics; he had known people who died of lung cancer, or emphysema. He had seen the x-rays of blackened, rotting lungs oozing slime.

He had even tried a time or two to quit. He tried will power, he tried the gum, he tried the patch, but nothing ever came of any of it.

In the final analysis, he embraced this particular devil. The fact was, he enjoyed smoking, he loved to smoke. Cigarettes took him to a place he could not get to any other way. A place where he felt safe, free from all the gathered turmoil of the world. It was a place he could not, and would not, trade for anything, even for his life.

Paul’s unspoken message to his friends, his family, to the world, and to himself was, “This is where life has taken me. I accept it. One way or another I am going to die. We all are. So, given the choice, why shouldn’t I die on my terms? No reason. So that is what I’m going to do.”

And that is what he did.

Not long before Paul died, when everyone in the theatre group, including Paul, knew his days were numbered, we staged a roast in his honor.

When Paul, emaciated and stooped, walked into the theatre the evening of the roast wearing a bright blue cowboy outfit, the house came down. It was one of his grandest entrances, and it was a perfect Act 1, Scene 1, for what was to follow. Despite the sobering subtext, it was an evening of rollicking good humor.

But at the very end of the evening, I, as emcee, injected the only serious note:

“Ladies and gentlemen, I have known Paul for 20 years, and in that time he has become my brother. He is family.

“And in all that time I have never known him to be anything other than who he is.

“There is a beauty in that. There is an innocence in that. But most of all, there is a purity in that.

“And so I’m glad that you’re all here tonight. Because it gives me the chance to say publicly what I’ve always said in my heart:

“Paul, I love you madly.”

A few months later we scattered Paul’s ashes on a nearby mountaintop.

That was almost 20 years ago. Now, from the vantage point afforded by time, I look back and I think I can understand why Paul thought the way he did about the reasons to stop smoking. And despite everything, I can even admire it somehow, however grudgingly. I mean, he had the courage to live the way he wanted to. How many of us can say the same?

At the same time, I am filled with anger.

I said earlier that it was almost impossible to become angry with Paul. But I am angry with him now, and I have been angry for 20 years.

I am angry at his outrageous selfishness. I am angry because he felt that his personal pleasure was more important than anything else. I am angry that he left us because he thought his obligation to a weed was greater than his obligation to the people who loved him.

What kind of person would do that?

If Paul could send a message today, I hope he would have the wisdom say to all the smokers of the world:

“Here is one of the main reasons to stop smoking; here is how to quit cigarettes:

“Remember that you are not in this alone. This is not just about you. Nothing you do is just about you. This is also about the people who count on you, who need you for a million reasons that neither you nor they may even understand. This is about the people who love you.

“If for no other reason, do it for them.”

I’m still angry with Paul.

And I miss him. Every day.

Dave Tishendorf is an ex-smoker. He invites you to find out more about how to quit cigarettes by clicking Here.

Article Source:http://www.articlesbase.com/quit-smoking-articles/reasons-to-stop-smoking-paul-knew-them-all-1435281.html

Electronic Cigarettes – Would You Like In On This?

Tobacco smoking is probably one of the most gruesome things any one can do to their body. We all know what kind of health issues comes with smoking cigarettes. There are many people who also realize the consequences of smoking tobacco cigarettes but still continue to smoke. What if people could smoke without all of the health issues that come with it? Think this is possible?

If you heard that there was a way that smokers could get their nicotine fix without having to worry about the deadly health effects, most would think that this was some sort of joke but in today’s world this is becoming a reality. This is where these E cigarettes come into play. Not many people know about these E cigarettes and pretty soon every smoker is going to want to jump ship and start smoking these E cigarettes.

What Is an E Cigarette?

An E cigarette is also known as an electronic cigarette. The electronic cigarette looks tastes and feels just like a real cigarette but it is totally safer. The reason why these new E cigarettes are much safer than the traditional tobacco cigarettes is because they don’t burn any tobacco. I know what you are thinking; if they don’t burn tobacco then how can you get the same effect? There is a simple answer to that. The electronic cigarette doesn’t give off smoke when you inhale it. When you do puff on the E cigarette, you inhale nicotine water vapor rather than smoke.

The electronic cigarette is a great new alternative to smoking device which is providing smokers with a safer alternative to tobacco smoking. The electric cigarette is made up of 2 main parts, the battery and the liquid nicotine cartridge that has a built in atomizer in it. The liquid nicotine cartridge screws right onto the battery. The battery looks like the white stem of a real cigarette and the cartridge looks like the tip or filter end of a real tobacco cigarette.

When the smoker puffs on the electric cigarette, the battery sends an electrical charge to the atomizer that is located in the cartridge. The atomizer then heats up the liquid nicotine and turns the liquid nicotine into water vapor. When the smoker exhales, he or she is blowing out water vapor and no smoke. These is a huge benefit compared to smoking regular tobacco cigarettes because since there is no tobacco burning, there is no need for a lighter, no need to worry about inhaling carcinogens or 4,000 other chemicals and poisons that you would get smoking tobacco cigarettes.

{On top of that there is no need to worry about cigarette smell or second hand smoke either. The electronic cigarette provides smokers with the nicotine hit that they crave without all the deadly side effects. This is what makes these E cigarettes so much safer to smoke than traditional tobacco cigarettes. You will see in the very near future the true benefits of these E cigarettes. Are you ready to become tobacco free?

Learn more about the new electronic cigarette and how they can help you become tobacco free

Article Source:http://www.articlesbase.com/quit-smoking-articles/electronic-cigarettes-would-you-like-in-on-this-1360744.html

Graham Clark Comedy Now smokers quit smoking joke


What its like to be a smoker…The excitement! And quitting smoking and the Freudian puzzles that follow.

Quit Smoking Book, you Just Need 3 Hours

The preferred quit smoking book online. If you smoke, or someone you care about still smokes, then this may be the most important letter you will ever read, because . . .

In less than 3 hours you can learn how to quit smoking – for life – from the comfort of your home – without patches, pills and gums, and, without gaining any weight or suffering a single major craving – fully guaranteed by one of the most trusted entrepreneurs on the internet (and a former 39-year smoker who quit by using this very program)!

In this quit smoking book, you will not have to spend hundreds of dollars buying medicines or supplements that will not help you quit smoking, neither will you need to put on patches, chew gums, swallow pills, use an inhaler, or ingest any other foreign substance. You will not have to follow any new and special diet, although we recommend the intervals at which you eat throughout the day and tell you one substance to avoid at all costs (we also want you to drink plenty of water). You will not have to start an extensive exercise program . . .

In fact, after you have read/listened to our program, about 3 hours, you just carry on with your normal routine only having to set aside a half hour or so per day for 3 weeks (or less) to listen to a special recording we made. Piece of cake!

And more…

Testimonial:

“I needed something to convince myself that after 35 years I could finally quit my 4-to-5-pack-a-day smoking habit. Yes, I chain smoked from morning until night and even woke up in the middle of each night to light up. I tried Zyban and the patch. What a joke! Ten minutes into The Quit Smoking Right Now Program I KNEW I was going to be able to quit. I remain tobacco-free over a year later. This program was a miracle in my life and my wife considers it even more than that!

I’m also saving over $250.00 a week that I spent on this killer habit! I highly recommend The Quit Smoking Right Now Program to anyone who wants to quit smoking once and for all!”

Jim Quarrington

Learn more on quit smoking book at:

http://www.healthbeautyfitnessonline.com/quit-smoking-book.htm

If you have been searching for information related to health beauty fitness online, you will realise that you have many choices…At HEALTHBEAUTYFITNESS site, we singled out the most popular and best selling information resource for you. Get access to the information related to health beauty and fitness in just a matter of minutes! Find only the best information by many experts on health beauty fitness. http://www.healthbeautyfitnessonline.com – The Health Beauty Fitness Resource For Everyone!

Katie is the author of many comprehensive articles on health beauty fitness. Be sure to check out her health beauty fitness website http://www.healthbeautyfitnessonline.com for more information on health, beauty and fitness related information and freebies.

How to Quit Smoking, & the Secret Revealed..

Everyone age 20 and older should have their cholesterol measured at least once every 5 years. It is best to have a blood test called a “lipoprotein profile” to find out your cholesterol numbers. This blood test is done after a 9- to 12-hour fast and gives information about your total cholesterol, LDL (bad) cholesterol, HDL (good) cholesterol, and Triglycerides (another form of fat in your blood).

HDL (good) cholesterol protects against heart disease, so for HDL, higher numbers are better. A level less than 40 mg/dL is low and is considered a major risk factor because it increases your risk for developing heart disease. HDL levels of 60 mg/dL or more help to lower your risk for heart disease. Triglycerides can also raise heart disease risk. Levels that are borderline high (150-199 mg/dL) or high (200 mg/dL or more) may need treatment in some people.

Research has shown that these steps will help you to quit for good:

1. Pick a date to stop smoking

Before that day, get rid of all cigarettes, ashtrays, and lighters everywhere you smoke. Do not allow anyone to smoke in your home. Write down why you want to quit and keep this list as a reminder.

2. Get support from your family, friends, and coworkers

Studies have shown you will be more likely to quit if you have help. Let the people important to you know the date you will be quitting and ask them for their support. Ask them not to smoke around you or leave cigarettes out.

3. Find substitutes for smoking and vary your routine

When you get the urge to smoke, do something to take your mind off smoking. Talk to a friend, go for a walk, or go to the movies. Reduce stress with exercise, meditation, hot baths, or reading. Try sugar-free gum or candy to help handle your cravings. Drink lots of water and juices. You might want to try changing your daily routine as well. Try drinking tea instead of coffee, eating your breakfast in a different place, or taking a different route to work.

4. Talk to your doctor or nurse about medicines to help you quit

Some people have withdrawal symptoms when they quit smoking. These symptoms can include depression, trouble sleeping, feeling irritable or restless, and trouble thinking clearly. There are medicines to help relieve these symptoms.

The preferred quit smoking book online. If you smoke, or someone you care about still smokes, then this may be the most important letter you will ever read, because . . .

In less than 3 hours you can learn how to quit smoking – for life – from the comfort of your home – without patches, pills and gums, and, without gaining any weight or suffering a single major craving – fully guaranteed by one of the most trusted entrepreneurs on the internet (and a former 39-year smoker who quit by using this very program)!

In this quit smoking book, you will not have to spend hundreds of dollars buying medicines or supplements that will not help you quit smoking, neither will you need to put on patches, chew gums, swallow pills, use an inhaler, or ingest any other foreign substance. You will not have to follow any new and special diet, although we recommend the intervals at which you eat throughout the day and tell you one substance to avoid at all costs (we also want you to drink plenty of water). You will not have to start an extensive exercise program . . .

In fact, after you have read/listened to our program, about 3 hours, you just carry on with your normal routine only having to set aside a half hour or so per day for 3 weeks (or less) to listen to a special recording we made. Piece of cake! And more…

Testimonial:”I needed something to convince myself that after 35 years I could finally quit my 4-to-5-pack-a-day smoking habit. Yes, I chain smoked from morning until night and even woke up in the middle of each night to light up. I tried Zyban and the patch. What a joke! Ten minutes into The Quit Smoking Right Now Program I KNEW I was going to be able to quit. I remain tobacco-free over a year later. This program was a miracle in my life and my wife considers it even more than that!

I’m also saving over $250.00 a week that I spent on this killer habit! I highly recommend The Quit Smoking Right Now Program to anyone who wants to quit smoking once and for all!”

Jim Quarrington

Learn more on quit smoking book at:http://www.healthbeautyfitnessonline.com/quit-smoking-book.htm

If you have been searching for information related to health beauty fitness online, you will realise that you have many choices…At HEALTHBEAUTYFITNESS site, we singled out the most popular and best selling information resource for you. Get access to the information related to health beauty and fitness in just a matter of minutes! Find only the best information by many experts on health beauty fitness. http://www.healthbeautyfitnessonline.com – The Health Beauty Fitness Resource For Everyone!

A variety of things can affect cholesterol levels. These are things you can do something about and they includes diet, weigth, and physical activities.

High Cholesterol and natural alternatives to overcome it…

Cholesterol is a waxy, fat-like substance that occurs naturally in all parts of the body. This includes the nervous system, skin, muscle, liver, intestines, and heart. It is made by the body and also obtained from animal products in the diet. Your body needs some cholesterol to work properly. But if you have too much in your blood, it can stick to the walls of your arteries. This is called plaque. Plaque can narrow your arteries or even block them.

High levels of cholesterol in the blood can increase your risk of heart disease. Your cholesterol levels tend to rise as you get older. There are usually no signs or symptoms that you have high blood cholesterol, but it can be detected with a blood test. You are likely to have high cholesterol if members of your family have it, if you are overweight or if you eat a lot of fatty foods.

You can lower your cholesterol by exercising more and eating more fruits and vegetables. You also may need to take medicine to lower your cholesterol.

Cholesterol is manufactured in the liver for normal body functions, including the production of hormones, bile acid, and vitamin D. It is transported in the blood to be used by all parts of the body.

Natural alternatives – XKLWorldWide SkyFruit supplement. Sky Fruit contains various natural proteins, minerals, vitamins, enzymes, carbohydrates, essential fatty acids and other body essential nutrients, where its easy absorption contributes an important factor for staying healthy.

In recent years, Sky Fruit has been widely accepted by medical specialists and doctors. Its consumers’ testimonials have made its recognition of its core values to be one of the best health products among those available in the market. Not only is SKYFRUIT pure in nature, its basis of suitability to health makes it an excellent product. No ill side effect is encountered even for long term consumption.

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Not all SkyFruits are created equal!

XKL Worldwide harvests Sky Fruit exclusively in Solomon Islands following XKL Worldwide’s discovery that SKY-FRUIT there is more than 30% richer in the vital nutrients and components than fruit grown elsewhere.

Sky Fruit is only largely found in tropical areas in the South Pacific where its cleanest and unspoiled places like Solomon Islands. The people there have consumed Sky Fruit internally for over 1000 years. It is known as the queen of plants and knowledge of its healthful properties has been handed down from generation to generation to the present day.

In addition, XKL Worldwide was the first company to discover a way to process the fruit and keep the vital components intact to the final product.

If you want the best grade of SkyFruit products, more information on sky fruit, & order XKLWorldWide skyfruit products online, visit http://www.xklworldwide.com

Katie is the author of many comprehensive articles on health beauty

fitness. Be sure to check out her health beauty fitness website http://www.healthbeautyfitnessonline.com for more information on health, beauty and fitness related information and freebies.

Stop Smoking – How to Quit Smoking! – Its Easy to Stop Smoking

Do you really want to stop smoking or do you want to help somebody quit smoking? If your answer is YES then this brings us to yet another question â??How can you stop smoking?â? how can you or anybody else quit this stinking habit? Well, in rare cases itâ??s easy for some individuals to quit the smoking habit, they will just wake up one day and decide they will never smoke again and they quit smoking just like that. Out of my own experience I think nobody enjoys smoking, itâ??s only the beginners who enjoy this habit in itâ??s early stages until they are addicted to the habit and start fighting it back in efforts of trying to quit the same habit, therefore a majority of so called â??smokersâ? only smoke because they are addicted to smoking and not because they enjoy smoking.

I will tell you a short story of my own experience. I started smoking back in 1995 when I used to work in a discotheque as a Dj. I was drawn to the habit by friends and I got deep into it not realizing what I was getting my self into. At first it was fun it was cool and it felt so good â??smokingâ?, it was relaxing. After a year I decided, well I am tired of smoking and its time to quit so I woke up one morning and said to my self I will never smoke again. Three hours later on that same day while smoking my second cigarette is when I remembered that I had made a decision that morning never to smoke again! I felt terrible it was like I had betrayed my self; this went on for days months and years until I realized how difficult it was for me to stop the habit.

This â??warâ? between me and smoking went on for twelve years; I tried every thing from eating specific kinds of selected foods to all sorts of medicine including herbal medicines in the efforts of trying to get rid of the cigarette cravings but nothing worked until one day in 2006 while searching for the cure to my smoking problem on the internet I came across this amazing Freedom From Smoking Guide. At first I thought it was just one of the many online money making scams that are all over the internet, but I took some time and thought of how smoking was affecting my life, my health, my finances, my wife, my new baby, almost every part of my life was affected by smoking and I decided to download that guide and give it a try. This guide changed my life almost instantly, finally after 12 years of bondage I stopped smoking just like that simply by following the simple steps and guidelines in this amazing Freedom From Smoking Guide for only 17$ . Click here to see Freedom From Smoking Guide.

For Most people smoking is a hard habit to break because tobacco contains nicotine which is highly addictive to the body and mind just like cocaine and other addictive drugs. The body and mind get so used to the nicotine in cigarettes that a person has to smoke just to feel normal and think straight.

Most people know that smoking causeâ??s cancer, emphysema, wrinkles, and so on and it also shortens your life span by 10 years or more, it costs smokers thousands of dollars or more every year yet people continue to smoke, this just shows how powerful this cigarette smoking addiction is and therefore it is not something to play or joke around with.

During the 12 years of my smoking addiction I was a heavy smoker I smoked thirty to thirty five cigarettes in a day, I was spending a lot of money on cigarettes my skin turned grey and wrinkled my hair was falling off and I finally developed a serious chest condition which crippled me financially I was in a lot of pain and weak and my life was slowly fading away. Itâ??s now very important for you who is currently addicted or may be you know a loved one you can help get out of this slavery to act now before itâ??s too late by simply downloading this Freedom From Smoking Guide for only 17$ you will save yourself or someone else from spending thousands of dollars in trying to cure smoking related illnesses or even death.

Consequences of smoking:

Every time you light a cigarette be sure that by the time you finish smoking it you will have lost 5 to 20 minutes of your life, thatâ??s a proven fact. Smokers also tend to develop yellow teeth and loose bone density which increases the risk of osteoporosis a condition that causes bones to break easily and bend over during old age. Smoking affects lung power meaning smokers tend to be less active. Smoking causes fertility problems and affects sexual health in both men and women, women using any form of birth control can develop serious health problems including heart attacks when they smoke and in the case of men they tend to develop erection problems.

Cigarette, cigars and pipe smoke contains over 4000 different harmful chemicals which affect a personâ??s body and health quickly some of these effects are: High risk of illness, slow healing of injuries, reduced physical performance, bad smells and breath, stained teeth and bad skin. All forms of tobacco are hazardous. Most smokers try to substitute the regular cigarette with other products that seem like they are better for them like filtered or low tar cigarettes but the only thing which helps a person avoid the problems associated with smoking is staying smoke free. From my own experience staying smoke free brings with it a lot of benefit, when a smoker quits smoking he/she becomes more energetic, they become good looking with more money in their pockets and most important more life to live. Click here to see some effects of smoking.

â??Itâ??s easy to quit smokingâ? am sure you have heard that kind of comment on various occasions and if you are a smoker you have probably said so yourself, unfortunately as easy as it may seem easy to quit the addiction still remains. Its important for you to know that what works for one person may not for another. The moment you download Freedom From Smoking, you will find out methods of quitting smoking you probably have never heard of. I hadnâ??t until I read Freedom From Smoking with Patricia Covers.

You may want to go for counseling sessions or join self help groups or further still visit a rehabilitation center, but what makes the freedom from smoking guide stand out from all the other methods is because Patricia covers all the symptoms and methodologies for treatment in a deeper basic understanding in a totally un-biased, non-judgmental manner.

Her information is clear, concise and understandable.   She explores in depth, each of the many treatments that are available, providing the pros, cons and warnings associated with each one of them.You will be amazed to discover so many diverse treatment options.

If you are a smoker then you owe it to your friends and loved ones and most importantly to YOURSELF to get rid of your smoking addiction. But if you are not a smoker but someone else close to you is, then you owe to them to grab a copy of Freedom From Smoking now and help them down the path toward total wellness. This being the reason I have sacrificed my time and recourses to bring you freedom from this bondage. Over 44 million people in the U.S alone have managed to give up smoking for good I am one of them and now itâ??s your turn. Click here to Download Freedom From Smoking.

 

DOWNLOAD FREEDOM FROM SMOKING HERE: http://stopsmokingtodayblog.blogspot.com/